Dealing with Stress During the Holidays
Holidays happen to be my favorite time of year - there’s a shift of expectation in the atmosphere. People are more cheerful, excited about life in general; and even here in Australia (where it warms up more than anything else), you’ll find more friends out and about than you would any other time of year. What a joy. That being said, there are so many aspects of stress that can come with this holiday season. Whether you’re in your element of creating an at-home environment and hosting every party (we see you, type twos & sevens), or enjoying playing a more behind the scenes part by designing your church’s most spectacular show to have ever been seen, stress incorporates itself in numerous ways.
Holidays aren’t meant to stress you out - they should be an aspect of the life cycle each year that brings you to life and helps you flourish.
Whether your season happens to be a nostalgic bout of pent-up emotions waiting to happen (all the laughter, all the tears, all the feelings), or another reason to start the world’s next great family debate, here’s how we flourish - instead of fade to gray - based on your enneagram type, of course.This is an incredible season celebrating Christ’s birth.
Type One: Practice Quality Instead of Perfection. Take time for you. Breathe a few extra minutes in between family gatherings. Feeling guilty about not makings sure everything is as up to par as it could be if you were in charge? Remind yourself that this is for everyone. Don’t deprive others of their fun in helping create the festivities. Tap into your feelings alongside of your right-and-wrong mentality, and allow yourself to grow a bit more in mercy.
Type Two: Learn How to Ask. Growing up, I disliked it when a (seven-turned-stressed) two “took my jobs away” from me. It’s easy as a two to forget that others love to host just as much. As a guest in someone else’s home, this can make a two feel crazy (if not worthless). Sometimes, the best way to love people is to let them do what they need to do, and take care of you! Be valued! This season, practice being loved just as you are - allow someone else to serve you when they want to - without feeling needed.
Type Three: Everyone can do it; they just might not want to as much as you do. The best leadership starts with collaboration, not division. Allow someone else to make the choices, lead the games, and cook the meals. Don’t lose your competitive edge, but remember that you are worthy without winning. In all the goals you want to accomplish, realize that others have some they want to accomplish alongside of you. Practice empathy, feel worthy.
Type Four: Be Present. As an sx9, I deeply empathize with the nostalgia that comes with a holiday season. Try to be as present as possible. Give yourself permission to look through the old albums, savor the intimacy of each family dinner, but also fixate yourself on enjoying these moments. Despite how you may feel, be active, involved, and practice dividing who you are from how you feel.
Type Five: The Exact Temperature of the Oven is of Lesser Importance than the Meal. Take initiative. Getting into your mental capacity can rule your entire being; this holiday, practice figuring what mentality is disconnecting from your tangible moments, and find some balance in your emotional side. Talk it out with a relative. Take some space, enjoy your quiet time, and then open up your home for a few trusted friends to watch Christmas movies.
It’s so important to maintain the integrity of who you are, while still opening yourself up to new ways of flourishing. You never know what you’ll unmask and unroot.
Type Six: In Instability, Remain Calm. Bless you for being the most prepared person for every party and gathering (and let’s be real, situation) ever. People are for you, not out to get you. Stay honest with others and yourself, allow for sticky situations that may arise to bring you into your five wing, and practice analyzing and trusting others to learn how to problem solve. It gives you and them freedom to learn, and allows you to listen to yourself.
Type Seven: Allow for Connection. As a seven, it’s easy to become caught up in the distractions that surround you. Engage with those around you, listen carefully, and stay focused on the moments that you’re in. Recognize where you tend to over-indulge, and plan accordingly. Don’t plan so much that you don’t commit to what you’re doing. Feel free to understand the emotions of others, and bring the joy into the picture like you do so well.
Type Eight: Empower Others. You are decisive and strong. Bring that strong sense of justice to light and join a good cause - serve dinner at soup kitchen, run your local community’s charity drive. Allow others to depend on you, and depend more on others. Take a few extra minutes to be soft, look people in the eye, and allow them to speak their piece. Remember that vulnerability is not a fault, and during the beauty and nostalgia and all-around wildness of the holiday season, you’re allowed to feel different emotions than you usually would.
Type Nine: It is Not Your Fault. Do Something. Action grows confidence. Resist the urge to close the doors on any decision making, decide in advance what you need, and communicate that to those who care about you. Arguments are inevitable, and they are not your fault. Practice saying what you need to say, and be unoffendable. Remove the spirit of passive aggressiveness that may tend to flare. Realize your decisions matter. Strive for peace and harmony with your guests, while also realizing that it’s okay to contribute and speak up for things that are important to you.
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