Self-Preservation, Social, or Intimate?
Perhaps one of the most underrated (albeit confusing) layers of the enneagram onion are what we know as subtypes. Have you ever met a fellow type (i.e., three meets three or seven meets seven) and felt very little connection to them whatsoever, perhaps even exclaiming later, “There’s no way they’re the same type as I am!”
Well, welcome to subtypes (AKA, instinctual variants) , the layering that makes such a thing possible for a type seven to perhaps not be as enthusiastic as one would expect them to be, or a type one to be less fixated on perfection than another type one. The nuances of particular types are a part of the ebb and flow of life and life stories, childhood wounds and healing, and the proverbial lens through which we see and observe and receive.
There are three kinds of subtypes:
Self-Preservation: All about our needs for the material basic instincts for survival: security, family, food, shelter, and warmth.
Social: All about our need for finding belonging, true membership, and family in community and larger group settings.
Sexual/Intimate: All about our intimacy with others: intimate relationships, close friendships, and life within ourselves.
These are based on:
The Mental Centre - based on plans, language, and ideas or idealism.
The Emotional Centre - based on feelings and empathy for others.
The Instinctual Body Centre, which is where our subtypes derive from.
…and they’re not to be confused with our primary centre’s/triad’s function. Basically, if your type is in the feelings triad, that doesn’t automatically mean your actions are stemming from the same layer in your subtype.
A lot of people (myself included) first hearing about subtypes simply thought they were a “secondary type” - not so. Think of your subtype as some form of three-legged stool from your childhood - you know, the one you always leaned forward on when sitting at the table, or at the kitchen bench, or at school, where your parent or guardian or teacher always told you to sit still. Each leg is utilized for balance, and you have the opportunity and allowance to “lean” on any particular leg at a time. However, there is usually a dominant leg that you’d lean towards. This dominant leg is our metaphorical primary subtype, based on our instinctual reaction to life. Our subtype is our major concern and point of attention and reference in everyday life: who is most important? What is most important? How do we react? We use all: mental and emotional and instinctual: but just as you have a primary number, you also have a primary way of realizing and acting.
It’s easy to read the single-word description of a subtype and make a decision, but it’s particularly important to read through the description of what each subtype does in each type, and have a thoroughly informed idea of your subtype. It’s also helpful to understand if you’re personally struggling with identifying with your particular type. If we so perfectly and precisely mirrored the personality assumptions of our type without thoroughly digging into things like our childhood, home, love, work, play, subtypes and wings, we would literally only know nine different kinds of people, full stop.
“I know a handful of Type Threes who hate their stereotype. “This doesn’t really sound like me. The core fear of ____ fits, but everything else doesn’t.” This doesn’t mean you’re less-than or even that you’ve mistyped, it means that no types even in their same realm are completely alike. So, if you’ve ever read or even skimmed a quick generalization, seen a meme, or taken an online quiz about what castle your type would live in and thought, “that’s so not me,” but related to other aspects of the type, it wouldn’t necessarily mean that you’ve mistyped yourself, or that you’re perhaps “less” this type than another type. It only means that you’re authentically you, and created to be you, and that you’re bringing something to the world that only you can.” (- The Complete Guide to the Enneagram)