In His Hands...

I just finished competing in the bi-annual Hennekes Competition with Alexandrea (who won!), where I had the privilege of performing this piece. Something my wonderful piano instructor, Marta Basham, gave to me, was this article from Joshua Bell, the famous violinist. I had the opportunity to go to see him perform at the theatre down here with my lovely friend Cassie when she was visiting... and it was so beautifully breath-taking.... 

"When I was 12 years old, I entered my first violin competition, the Stulberg International String Competition. Almost everyone else was college-age, so I wasn't expecting to do very well. I was playing a violin concerto called Symphonie Espagnole by Lalo. It starts with a very difficult opening right of the bat, sort of like if a skating routine started with a triple axel. I began playing, and I messed it up worse than I ever could have imagined. I had never made such a terrible mistake at the beginning of the piece. My parents came all the way to Michigan for me to be in my first big competition, and it was a completely embarrassing way to start. 

"No one tells you what to do if you completely flop at the beginning of the performance. My teachers had never taught me, and I didn't know the etiquette, but I think I did the right thing in the moment. Instead of just playing on, finishing the piece, and feeling lousy, I completely stopped. I turned to the audience and said, "I'd really like to start over." I already felt like I'd lost the competition and the chance to do well, but I really wanted to try again. 

"It was a quick decision and could have been the worst performance after that because my confidence was down. I messed up, and when you do something like that it can psychologically totally ruin your performance. But somehow it turned in the other direction. I got into this zone of feeling completely liberated and relaxed because I knew I had lost. I played the best I had ever played in my life. I felt like I couldn't make a mistake. I was elated, and it could have been the worst day of my 12-year-old life. 

"I actually ended up getting third prize in the competition and went back the next year and one first prize, but that's not really the point. For me, it was a major revelation, and it taught me that when you take your mind of worrying about being perfect all the time, sometimes amazing things can happen. So much of performing is a mind game. You're memorizing thousands of notes, and if you start thinking about it in the wrong way, everything can blow up in your face. When I'm onstage and make a mistake, I remember back to that moment. I learned from that experience how to get into that zone. The competition ended up launching my career and my confidence in a lot of ways. It was a turning point, and a lesson I use to this day." 

There was a distinct spiritual analogy I saw in the last paragraph of this... 

several weeks ago, I was having an issue giving something to G-d, and then waking up the very next morning worrying about it. 

"It's all in His hands," I told myself. 

Over. and over. and over. 

because when I worry about it- I'm taking the "yoke" back from G-d. It is "surrendered" to Him... but not fully. 

However, when we truly "let go," and give it to Him... my, then how perspective changes. 

I long for "peace..." and yet I insist on taking it back. 

But... I think- ah, I know that it is well with my soul... and it is truly resting with Him. 

Anything I can be praying for you for? Please feel free to email me/comment below:-)
Many blessings. 

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Unless otherwise noted, article, and photography Copyright of Sierra Brewer and Fresh Joys Photography, 2012. Please do not use without express permission by emailing me at hishandmaiden.theblog@gmail.com. Thank you.