To Live Fully.

“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” 

-J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

I began to read this classic- for it is such- to Grace-Hope a few weeks ago; and as strange as it sounds, I'm reading it with new eyes in comparison to the last time I turned through the pages. If you go through thoughts (books, media, influences) with the knowledge that there is some message behind it, new doors are sure to open. 

I read the above sentence in a recent reading session, and at once something I had been trying to vaguely piece together for years in my mind finally came to light.  It may be silly... and yet, I feel strongly about this. 

If you had the choice to go floating carelessly through life or living with abandon, which would you choose? The former gives me chills; the latter sounds unreasonable. They are both labeled extremes; but which would you have? The in-between- is the gray between the color strands of black and white. 

Life is an adventure...only when we let go of the reigns. When we die to ourselves... we receive bigger adventures than we could ever have dreamed of, because G-d can use us for His purpose and glory. 

I was recently drawing out lyrics to a favorite song.  "Show me how to die.." My pen twisted the letters into different shapes and curls, as I thought about those words. 

Another thought clicked right into the puzzle I'd had with Peter Pan. 

How do I live fully so I am fully ready to die? This is my question. 

Show me how to die... show me how to die to myself, but also... show me how I can live so that I can stare death in the face and know already that the victory is Yours. This is my prayer. 

"O Death, where is your victory; where is your sting?" 

Let me lose my life... that I might find a greater Life. Let me die...and give me the adventure of a lifetime of trusting in His plan and purpose, not mine. This is the beauty of the gracious uncertainty. This is the reasoning for trusting His grace when walking into the unknown. 

This is the desire to walk on water towards my Savior. 

This is knowing that He will catch me in His arms where feet may fail.