-When We Let Go-

just as a note: I had my first mentor meeting this afternoon. May I just say, when I hit publish this very morning on this drafted article (from... two months ago? which, for some reason, didn't publish.), I had NO idea just how much it would tie into our chat. All I can say is... we have a good G-d. SUCH a good G-d. And the fact that what at one time I slightly dreaded, I'm jumping with joy over is... incredible. That been shared... it's been a beautiful day. And I'm overflowing with thankfulness. 

"It's March," my mind says to itself in wonder as I look at my planner. "Late March. The time is slipping away."  I look at the time.. and think about the "plans" I had for myself at this age when I was eight or nine- just Grace-Hope's age. I smile at my own little schedule and timing I had.. in fact, my journal was far too exciting than it should have been at the time: I would be married by seventeen or eighteen, and have a small home-full of children by the time I was twenty-two (why that specific age, I don't recall). I would be a missionary (memorizing Acts 1:8 was the deciding factor for me. And reading all about Amy Carmichael and other heroes of the faith). And a farmer. And an animal trainer, too.
Later... I decided that, in addition to being a wife and mother, I would be an actress and singer. And possibly a missionary.

And then I grew up just a little, and understood that while my heart desired these things, I wasn't necessarily responding well to His call to follow... Him.
In my pursuing acting... I wasn't serving G-d; I was thinking of serving me, and where I wanted to go with this.

I'm on the very verge of a degree switch. L-rd-willing, I'll be heading to Mexico this summer. L-rd-willing, I'm on the verge of many upcoming adventures. I don't know if I ever wrote anything here... but last winter/fall I had such a crazy vision one night. I had no idea what it was when I awoke the next morning; but since then, I've just felt this joyous excitement for the future.
"Something's around the corner." 
"Something's going to happen." 
And so, I lived with that expectation- and I still am. I've really been seeing how, earlier in life, I thought I wanted to pursue adventure. While I do live with the mindset that "adventure is everywhere," I also am seeing more and more how just following Jesus will bring us more adventure than we could ever possibly fathom all by ourselves.

I dream- oh, I'm such a dreamer. It's in my nature. When I was little, I housecleaned and pretended I was a maid. Or Cinderella. I would swipe my dustrag over the table surface, and dance off to my room to change into appropriate ballroom attire.
So of course, I have plans of where I would like to be. I have a fairly good idea of where I'll end up. But as far as getting there... I'm in prayer.

And at the same time... I don't have a dream outside of His plan. I cannot wait to look back and give a little gasp as I realize, "Oh, that's why..."

At this point, I think all of these crazy thoughts come together to my main idea: that when I take hold of His hand... I am to let go of everything else. 
...everything else. 
This is difficult for me at this stage in life. Because while I can think of nothing more wonderful than that journey.. I can also think of just a few things I'll have a harder time letting go of.
"But if everything is Yours, I'm letting it go... it was never mine to hold."
that's convicting.

We are on an incredible journey with Jesus... one that is worth it all.
Don't hesitate.
"Follow Me."
"Follow Me."
"Follow Me."

----
"What are we going to do, L-rd?" 
"Change the world." 
Here is my heart, take and seal it for Thy courts above.