restless

this morning had been an interesting one. full of lessons.

            i woke up in full anticipation of the day i was going to take my Latin exam… and discovered i had overslept.

            “okay, fine.” i thought to myself (i confess rather grumpily). “a little less extra sleep never hurt anybody.” but my mood was the problem.

            a few minutes later i was in the kitchen, helping to prepare breakfast with Marmee. as i stacked and put away dishes, i caught sight of a plate/platter that we use almost every day. accompanying the whimsical painting of a blue vase of sunny daffodils with a pretty orange, blue, green and yellow border, were the words, “rejoice in the L-rd always, and again i say, ‘rejoice!’” (phil. 4:4)

            i was thoughtful as i popped the bagels into the toaster. was my attitude rejoicing in the L-rd? it wasn’t bad on the outside… but I wasn’t truly glorifying G-d. i must’ve been too thoughtful, because when the bagels came out a few minutes later for Alexandrea to butter, we were short a plain and had an extra raisin. i was sure she had said raisin, and she was positive she’d said plain.

            whatever the misunderstanding was, i’d not responded in the right way; and Marmee got involved. where I could just have kept the peace, and offered a different solution, i had instead dampened everyone else.

            “well, what’s the point?” you may be wondering. it’s not a confession. actually, it’s more of a reminder to myself more than anything. normally i make it a priority to simply wake up and have my time with Jesus. and today, that didn’t happen. cause and effect much,  perhaps?

            as I finish writing this in my journal, it is about 12:15 my time. and I realize what the problem was with this morning. my time with G-d hadn’t happened until a few minutes ago. i feel like crying (with joyful relief) as i think of Audrey Assad’s song restless.

still my heart hold me close
let me hear a still small voice
let it grow, let it rise
into a shout, into a cry

i am restless, ‘till I rest in You.

o, G-d, i will rest in You…

truly resting in His arms,
sierra

                                                                 Article and all pictures, Copywrite, 2011, Sierra Brewer