Someone recently told me that me at my most vulnerable was the best thing they ever saw.

I didn't understand that, really. Because we as human beings try so hard to hold "it" all together. Release isn't natural, whether that's release of our feelings, our hearts, our words. Vulnerability is where we trust someone, knowing that we may very well be let down or hurt in the process. And yet that realness, that raw, wild wonder, is where we come alive. We've been hurt enough times to retreat into our shell; and when we let what's inside our heart's mind and memory out, it's scary. It can disappear into a puff of steam and be blown away, or that other person can inhale that delicious warmth.

This very moment, the rain started pouring. And rain fills me physically with that metaphorical hope that today, there is growth.

Without letting go, letting Jesus take us over so completely, we can't become. Without letting go, we can't ever realize who we are supposed to be instead of what we we're "supposed" to be doing. Without letting go, we'll forever and always underestimate what we were made capable of as people, as children of a King. We give ourselves permission to feel nothing, when in reality we were meant to take in all the wonder and beauty of the world as it was created. We resist that. It's hard, because I still do it all the time. I choose to walk in a straight line, one grey boot in front of the other, but I'm learning to skip a bit in between, or go spin in the rain that is falling now. Little by little, one travels far. I know we'll get there soon enough. Let's explore.