It's the end of May.
And I don't even really know how to begin this. But it has to be said. And I think I'd feel better if I wrote it out on paper.

Basically, my heart hurts. Because this is where my calling and mission lies. To touch those hearts who truly need and love and will adore Jesus. I want- G-d has planted- a seed in my heart- to show and proclaim, and shout from the rooftops... that He loves us. It's all that truly matters. I've said it before, but Jesus is my definition. He is the song of my heart.
People will try to stop me.
Satan will try to stop me.
I could be hurt; I could be persecuted; I could very well die in the process; but one thing I know: I will not die unless my purpose has been complete, and G-d wills it.
" If i perish... i perish."

And I don't want to be the one who runs the race with a lagging spirit and dragging feet and useless tongue and life.
People need and desire guidance in their lives, but don't know where to find it or where to to turn. G-d has... invited us to be a part of building His Kingdom.

Why do we almost immediately wonder if it's "safe?" Jesus died. On a cross. It was a painful death; but He bore it... for you. for me. He knew He would.        Is that considered... safe? I want to share Jesus so much so with this world... that... tears are filling my eyes as I write this.
"Let me walk upon the water, wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, that my faith may be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior."

He calls us to so much more than living a life based on the present. Than living the life of an untouched soul. Why do we sing these wordsbut when given an opportunity, choose not to take it? Choose not to trust G-d. Choose to question ourselves and our Jesus, if this is truly Him. I'm not saying to jump on every distraction that comes our way and call it an opportunity. In fact, all I'm saying is simply... if G-d has planted a seed in our hearts, if we are truly in -tune with the Spirit, and if we pray and receive confirmations... who are we- who am I- to say no?

Who am I, that He would love me so tenderly? Who am I that He would recognize my name? Who am I that He would speak to me?

I will sing forever of His goodness. If, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks... why am I not reacting to Christ's overflowing and abounding love and joy I feel pulsating in my heart-beat, and flowing through my soul? We are new creations. We're no longer crawling on the ground like a caterpillar, we're soaring through the skies proclaiming His joys and new mercies.

Let me be a cross-bearer. 
this is what i want in this life. 
Let me fall more and more in love with my Savior. 
this is my prayer. 
My dreams, hopes, desires for the future... I lay at His altar. 

He is enough. More than enough. 
Ah... it is incredible how much more than enough He truly is.